A Story of God’s Grace: Jim Havens and Love Will End Abortion

A Choice that Impacts Generations

Everyone has a story.

To tell the story of how Love Will End Abortion came to be, I need to share some of my own story. And really, I need to go back a couple of generations.

In her late thirties, already having birthed 10 children, my great-grandmother was instructed not to conceive another child as it could be life-threatening. She conceived anyway and was then advised by her doctor to have a secret abortion.

She said “no” to her doctor, and “yes” to the life of her child.

On July 17, 1931, she gave birth to healthy baby girl with no apparent complications. But tragically, the doctor had too much to drink at the party he had just left to go to the birth and he missed the fact that my great-grandmother was hemorrhaging. She died that night due to his negligence.

She left a beautiful gift to the world behind: my grandmother.

If she had followed the advice of her doctor and had chosen abortion, yes, my great-grandmother’s earthly life would have extended beyond that day, but at the same time, my grandmother would have been directly and intentionally killed, my father would not have existed, nor would I, nor would any of my five children, so on and so forth.

One abortion impacts generations of others in ways we cannot fully comprehend or even imagine.

A Pro-Life Awakening

After an awakening of faith that I experienced in my early-twenties, which led me see to Jesus and His Catholic Church as the Treasure worth giving everything for, I began experiencing a prompting in prayer to face the reality of abortion and discern what response, if any, the Lord was calling me to.

Jesus’ words in Matthew 25:31-46 were already becoming more and more alive in me. I knew the truth of this Scripture was demanding more of me in regard to authentic love of God and neighbor, and eventually, it directed me to see the human responsibility and Christian calling to personally love both those being killed (the children in the womb) and those being lied to and exploited for profit (the pregnant moms in need) by the massive, ongoing daily mass murder of abortion that is sadly very much baked into our culture.

Initially, I began simply going by myself to pray the Rosary outside of a local abortion facility in Pittsburgh, PA over the summer of 2004 (I was a graduate student in Theology at Franciscan University at the time). As I saw people going in and out, I quickly saw the need to lovingly reach out to those entering the abortion center.

When school reconvened in the fall of 2004, I joined the Students for Life chapter on campus where I was trained in best practices as a sidewalk counselor, further attuning the disposition of my heart to mercy and to a method of compassionate outreach on the sidewalk. I then helped train others as well.

As the semester got into full swing, I began participating in outreach with our Students for Life chapter at the nearest local abortion killing center on Saturday mornings, that same facility in Pittsburgh where I first began praying by myself. It was common on these Saturday mornings to have several students participating in the outreach as sidewalk counselors, while over 100 students gathered in prayer across the street.

But every Saturday a thought stirred in me that I could not shake: no one was out there praying and reaching out to those going in and out on the other days throughout the week when the killing center was open.

The empty sidewalk seemed to haunt my conscience: “Why didn’t anyone care enough to be out there for these people who were clearly in desperate need?” and “What could I do?”

I began occasionally showing up on those other days.

“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but look out for the interests of others too.” -Philippians 2:4

“With such affection for you, we were determined to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our very selves as well, so dearly beloved had you become to us.” -1 Thessalonians 2:8

Love Saves Lives

One evening after rugby practice, I made a little speech and asked my teammates to join me the following weekday morning. A handful of ruggers took me up on it.

We packed into my car, early the following morning, and drove into Pittsburgh. I explained that all they needed to do was pray and I will take on the role of reaching out, all by God’s grace.

When we arrived, there was a young couple smoking cigarettes on the corner and I jumped out of the car like a champion rejoicing to run his course (Psalm 19:5). My rugby brothers began to pray.

The young couple explained that they had already been inside the abortion facility and they were just taking a quick smoke break before going back in for the abortion that morning. As we talked it became clear that the immediate problem they were facing, and that needed to be addressed, was financial need. In the course of the conversation they also began to see their child as a real person to be loved.

I offered a baby shower to them, one that would provide every material item they would need to welcome their child into the world, it seemed to strike the mom’s heart and she agreed.

But then they went back into the center to get their money back, refusing my offer to repay them the money they had already given the killing center for the abortion. Perhaps they were going to go through with the abortion after all. I didn’t know what to think.

I told the prayer warriors I was with what was going on and we all hit the pavement on our knees. All these big, tough rugby guys humbly interceding in prayer with all our strength.

After about 20-30 minutes, things were looking bleak. We needed to get back to school for classes and were pushing “just a few more minutes,” hoping with everything that the young couple would emerge.

Just as we were about to leave, they came out!

They had gotten their money back. They were happy and renewed in their new love for their child, even in the midst of the very real challenges they were facing.

I went back to school and asked the student government for $1,000 needed to provide the baby shower. They happily granted the request.

Thanks to the feminine genius of a few sisters in Christ, we put together a beautiful baby shower at a local coffee shop. When the mom arrived with her family, there were over 100 students standing outside giving her a standing ovation for her heroic decision to love in a culture that was strongly telling her not to.

We continued to walk with that family in their needs for years, making several visits to see them and to further help and empower them.

The entire experience impacted me greatly and I wondered if I was possibly being called to leave my studies and find a way to be on the sidewalk every day for those who were in need with no one reaching out to them. After all, lives were literally at stake every day, the sidewalk was empty, and seeking to fill it sure seemed more important than going to class.

Called to the Sidewalk

The discernment came to a decision point in Washington, D.C. that January. I was there representing Franciscan University at the national Students for Life conference surrounding the March for Life and on the evening of the big banquet, I followed God’s good prompting to spend my time in the nearby Basilica instead (I have never been much for big, swanky affairs anyway). 

I remember kneeling before the Pietà with all the questions of my heart, and when I stood up and turned around, there was the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe, patroness of the unborn, directly across from me. 

I continued to pray deeply that night, and in the coming days, in regard to what God was asking of me.

I knew the Lord was confirming the goodness of my desires and efforts, but in the end, I decided to return to class and resume my vocation as a student. To this day, I am unsure if fear was clouding my vision and if I was actually being called to surrender all and dive into serving in a full-time sidewalk ministry somehow (but all I can do now, is the same as all I could do then, entrust all to the Lord and move forward sincerely in whatever He seems to be asking of me today). 

The following summer I spent one month as an intern for the Catholic Pro-Life Committee of Dallas, the Respect Life Ministry of the Diocese of Dallas, where I spent every day ministering on the sidewalks outside of the various abortion centers in the Dallas, TX area. It was both challenging and revealing. I will never forget the scene at one particular run-down killing center where nearly every woman came out in a wheelchair, unable to stand on her own, and each was just shoved off into whatever car was there to pick her up.

In the spring of 2006, I graduated from Franciscan University with an M.A. in Theology and Christian Ministry, and accepted a position near the hometown where I grew up, as Director of Youth Ministry at the largest parish in the Diocese of Buffalo. I served there for a little over two years and in that time met Rebecca the beautiful, my future bride.

Prayer and outreach on the sidewalk outside of the nearest local abortion killing center was still an occasional action I would take as the need was still very much on my heart. But the extreme demands of parish youth ministry, in the context of a disordered consistent life ethic/seamless garment mindset in the parish leadership, made getting to the sidewalk and encouraging others to do the same a very difficult, uphill battle. 

When I transitioned away from parish ministry and entered into the work of Catholic radio, I pitched the need to help gather people and bring some organization to the local sidewalk and the leadership empowered me to do so.

Sidewalk prayer and ministry became a more frequent endeavor once again.

Becky and I would participate in the 40 Days for Life together as a part of our courtship and preparation for marriage, and I was also able to gather together a large group to prayer warriors outside of the biggest abortion facility in Buffalo, NY to pray the full Rosary (all 20 mysteries) and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy every Saturday morning.

We named this sidewalk prayer group “Warriors of Love” to keep our focus on love as an action of the will that requires real sacrifice, and to live out that sacrificial love as we are called to, we must battle against the temptations of pride, comfort, and selfishness that we all face.

This prayer group was, and still is, marked by the public witness of holding a large banner with the text “Love Will End Abortion.”

To this day, by God’s grace, the Warriors of Love continue to gather every Saturday morning as a group of about 20-30 for 90-minutes of prayer at that same abortion facility in Buffalo.

The morning after our wedding, Becky and I got up early and started the first day of our new life together in prayer on the sidewalk as a sign of our desire to spend our marriage in giving ourselves in love for others in Christ. We were definitely tired, and we had every excuse why we didn’t need to be there, but we showed up anyway. Thanks be to God. It was a beautiful way to begin our marriage.

I also vividly remember praying with Becky at the local killing center three days before she gave birth to our first child and then holding our little one outside of the killing center not long after.

Before long, our openness before the Lord and our desire to be used by Him in whatever way He calls us, sent us into a unique adventure as a missionary family, somewhat reluctantly traveling around the country, serving in various roles at Catholic schools, parishes, and apostolates.

A Reawakening

All along the way we continued to find our way to the sidewalk in every place we lived, but it was growing increasingly rare.

The love once blazing in my soul had dimmed, mostly because I began to believe lies. Lies that falsely minimized my human responsibility and Christian calling to do something more to help end abortion.

I was being confronted with a growing awareness that simply being open to life in our marriage, raising a larger family ourselves, and praying prayers of petition was not enough of a response to the massive, ongoing mass murder of abortion occurring every day in our backyard.

It seems that when you see most others being far further off the mark than you, it can be easy to delude yourself into thinking that you are much closer to the mark than you actually are.

It was somewhat easy to remain in denial about my own heart becoming numb to the reality of abortion, because I would often see others in the Church who were far more numb or even hostile toward any attempt to combat abortion and help those in need on the sidewalk.

In one example I recall, serving as a Coordinator of Faith and Service at a “prestigious” Catholic K-8 heralded for its Catholic identity, I was told I could not mention the word “abortion” to junior high students during an assembly highlighting the life and development of the preborn child. As a religion teacher, as per the school handbook, I could speak about abortion to those same students in my classroom, but in the case of this assembly I was silenced due to pressure applied on the principal by a handful of parents.

It was easy to feel like I was doing my part to combat abortion within that context and in light of my past efforts. But the truth is my heart had gone quite numb with respect to abortion and I was pretty much okay with that. The school assembly debacle started to poke at my conscience in this area once again.

Also during that time, my wife and I suffered the miscarriage of one of our children at eight-weeks gestation. I placed little Miriam Joseph’s eight-week old body in the tiny coffin my wife made.

While we buried our little child, my denial about my responsibility for a right response toward the “legalized” murder of preborn children and exploitation of pregnant moms in need for profit, that we far too easily truncate into the one-word “abortion,” was beginning to crack.

If I let my heart awaken to the reality of abortion, what would it cost me? What would it mean? I did not want to spend any more of my life on a “lost cause.”

The lies were still with me.

We also suffered a second miscarriage soon after. Little Jude died at an even earlier age of gestation and the medical community acted as if it was nothing. We saw clearly that the lie of abortion, all these years after Roe and Doe, was deeply embedded into the medical culture and even more baked into our society than we had previously thought.

Several other experiences occurred, and ultimately, the Holy Spirit showed up and made things clear for us.

In early 2016, this small light of love within me started fanning into flame by God’s grace.

The truth came back into focus: each of us can have an impact toward ending abortion and each of us has a responsibility to do whatever we can.

In a new freedom, I began asking God once again: “What do you want me to do? What do you want us to do as a family?”

As part of this discernment, we discerned a call back to Western New York and ended up landing in Rochester, NY in December 2016.

The Love Will End Abortion Radio Show/Podcast

I resumed my previous work in Catholic radio and began Love Will End Abortion in January 2017 as a weekly pro-life radio show/podcast I produced and hosted which broadcasted live every Tuesday from 4-5PM(ET) on The Station of the Cross Catholic Media Network. We ended the live weekly show in November 2019 after 116 shows, and added a few more special episodes after to stop at 119. Past shows are available at lovewillendabortion.com/show and via podcast on iTunes. 

From the beginning, the purpose of the show was to awaken hearts and minds, beginning with our own, to face the reality of abortion and seek to answer three questions:

1. What is our responsibility?

2. What are the most effective non-violent actions available to us to end abortion as soon as possible?

3. Do we love enough to do more?

The show offered me a way to deepen my own education and understanding on abortion, including its deep roots and extensive branches throughout our present culture. The show features interviews with top pro-life experts and provides an ongoing formation to help equip us for increased effectiveness in building a culture of life and civilization of love.

Investing On-the-Ground Locally – ROC Love Will End Abortion

As I began learning more through the show, I quickly began experiencing a strong call to implement more of what I was learning. I was once again drawn back to the sidewalk. This time in Rochester.

I occasionally began praying outside of a nearby Planned Parenthood abortion center and then started meeting and getting to know others who were doing the same. I then researched and became acquainted with the best local resources available to help pregnant moms in need and I energetically entered into our local 40 Days for Life campaign in the Fall of 2017.

By the end of that campaign, I began offering a local sidewalk training and started organizing and scheduling sidewalk counselors and prayer partners to provide a peaceful, prayerful presence and loving outreach outside of local abortion killing centers.

From October 28, 2017 to the Spring of 2020, we trained over 250 people in sidewalk ministry to be present on the sidewalks outside of the local killing centers as the hands and feet of Christ. At the time I left in June 2020, we had more than 100 people committed to a weekly, year-round sidewalk slot of at least one hour and we were covering three local abortion killing centers in Rochester, NY, including nearly 100% coverage outside of the headquarters of Planned Parenthood of Central and Western NY.

In my time leading ROC Love Will End Abortion, we helped hundreds to turn away from their appointments at local abortion killing centers (that we know of), including dozens of pregnant moms in need that chose life (that we know of). It is always a blessing when those we encounter on the sidewalk, who have real challenges to be addressed, stay in contact with us, allow us to walk in friendship with them and further help and empower them to overcome the challenges they face.

ROC Love Will End Abortion continues on to this day as several of those in the ministry have taken over the leadership reigns since I was called to move on to other places and projects.

I firmly believe, that until abortion is illegal in a local community, the local Church ought to work toward fulfilling the goal of being present as the hands and feet of Christ at every local abortion killing center, in authentic love for every person going in and out, every hour each center is open, year-round.

Stand Out for Life

During this time in Rochester, NY, I also continued to organize large, local pro-life gatherings of prayer and public witness, this time outside of the headquarters of Planned Parenthood of Central and Western NY. We called these monthly events Stand Out for Life and we were able to build it up to about 200 people in regular attendance, with our largest gathering of about 250.

Then the Covid lockdown hit and we had to adjust. In consultation with The Station of the Cross, we decided to make the event a broadcast so people could “socially distance” and Stand Out for Life from anywhere while listening to the one-hour broadcast. It then expanded into a nationwide movement to Stand Out for Life in peaceful, prayerful, protest for the end of abortion every Saturday morning. The Saturday broadcast ran from March 2020 – January 2021. 

In the midst of all the Covid madness, my family and I answered a clear call to move to southwest Florida in June 2020.

The Simple Truth and Grassroots Pro-Life Activity

Grateful to each and every person who has ever responded to the call to stand out for life and get involved in local, grassroots pro-life activity, I have also noticed a vastly greater number of people say “no” to the call.

As I spent many, many hours meeting with various local groups, building relationships, and inviting others far and wide to get active, I came to see that it truly is a very small fraction of people who are willing to actually engage, even among otherwise seemingly faithful Christians. I guess maybe this should not have surprised me, but it did. And it took me a while to see that no matter how many different ways I asked, and no matter how hard I tried, there was something obstructing the freedom of most people to say “yes” to the call to give even just one hour per month to being present on the sidewalk in prayer.  

The big obstacle to getting more people involved in pro-life activity became clear: we need to see greater conversion to Jesus and His Catholic Church as people are too filled with worldly things to hear the call of Jesus to go and love the least of these.

On the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul (January 25, 2021), I began hosting The Simple Truth, which airs Monday-Friday from 4-5pm(ET) on The Station of the Cross Catholic Media Network with the goal of fostering initial and ongoing conversion by authentically proclaiming the life-giving reality of Jesus and His Catholic Church. Much of the show is focused each week on the ongoing, daily mass murder of abortion, especially the Friday with Father edition every Friday with Fr. Stephen Imbarrato.

The National Men’s March to Abolish Abortion and Rally for Personhood 

Flowing from the Friday show with Fr. Stephen Imbarrato, we prayerfully discerned and began The Men’s March in June 2021, when we led about 300 men to gather in Washington, D.C. the Saturday before Father’s Day on four weeks notice. We continued on with national events in Baltimore (2021 and 2022), Tallahassee (2022), Boston (2022 and 2023), Albany (2023), Washington D.C. (2023), our first West Coast event in Southern California – Temecula (2024), and our next event scheduled for Rochester, NY on Dobbs anniversary weekend and the Saturday after Father’s Day (6/22/24)

Clearly, there is a great need to build up men and call them out from the sidelines to work toward abolishing the ongoing, daily mass murder of abortion. There is a man connected to every abortion and it is a lie from the pit of hell that abortion is merely a “women’s issue.” Men, this is our fight. By God’s grace and for His glory, we will be victorious in Christ Jesus. It’s time.

Please Pray for Us

Jim and Becky Havens currently reside in southwest Florida with their five children: Theresa (14), Faustina (12), Francisco (11), Augustine (8), and Isaac (6). They also serve as a foster family.